So, about the sex part. . .

I was reading this piece on monogamy from the Salon.com's Broadsheet column (a personal favorite), and had some thoughts.

People continuously argue about whether humans are 'meant' to be monogamous. I am a biologist and I do believe that we are animals and basally driven to preserve our own genetic heritage and to relate intimately with others of our own kind. That being said, I also believe that unlike most animals out there, we have highly developed, discrete communication skills. We have spoken language and written language. We have a plethora of conduits for both: face-to-face, phone, snail mail, e-mail, and even (heaven forbid) texting. If you feel the urge to spread that genetic diversity around, you can pretty easily share that information with whatever partner to which you are partnered.

So, I don't think the problem is that we're all constantly at odds with millions of years of evolution/natural selection. I think the problem is, that once we've decided (oh, yeah, there's that free will thing too) to merge, we allow shame, guilt, selfishness, and/or awkwardness to keep us from simply fessing up. Perhaps if we could all hold ourselves to the higher of our animal traits, that is communication, as opposed to our lower, being the urge to satisfy our sex drives, relationships could flourish and grow or be ended in a fashion slightly less devastating than feeling like you've been drowned in a vat of boiling nacho cheese.

Regardless of the reasons for cheating, be they genetic or personal, it's going to happen, period. Maybe we should all stop bitching and moaning about how people respond to cheating (such as Ms. Spitzer) and concern ourselves simply with treating each other better under circumstances where infidelity has occurred. The cheater has a basic human responsibility to take ownership of the behavior. The cheatee owes it to him/herself to absorb the situation, learn, and proceed in the manner that leaves the fewest psychic scars whether it be staying in the relationship, or moving on. As for the rest of us, we mostly need to mind our own business and be there to listen to what the parties involved have to say since no amount of our judging, preaching, coddling, or shunning can change the actions which have occurred.